A woman in search of a word

Sitting in bed watching “Eat, Pray, Love” while attempting to write a paper may not seem like the most productive use of time, but it’s given me an idea, an epiphany of sorts. In the movie Liz and her Roman friends are discussing what word describes the places they’re from. Her new Swedish friend asks “What’s your word Liz?”. She can’t answer the question and her friend tells her that maybe she’s a woman in search of a word. Maybe I too am a woman in search of a word. How can you know who you truly are when you let the actions and words of others define you? This semester hasn’t been easy and it’s not getting any easier. It started with a bad roommate which led to losing someone I thought was a good friend all mixed with failed relationships and heart ache. Too many nights spent alone wondering why I’m alone and why I’m not ok with being alone, but maybe that’s not the real question. Maybe the real question is who am I? who do I want to be? Just me, no one else, because no one else can decide for me. That betraying friend, that bad roommate, those selfish guys. I need to find my own word, one that I come up with and nobody else because the only word that comes to mind now is lost. “Ruin is the road to transformation.” 

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